Does he/she still love me?

If you are in a difficult relationship right now, there is hope. With quite a few of the relationships that I work with the problem is one of communication. When people first get together they talk things over with one another. When problems start to show up it’s generally because there are things they can’t discuss, let alone agree about.

Sometimes it’s as simple as communication style. Maybe you’re the person who looks at the big picture, while your partner is very detail oriented. Perhaps your partner is looking at the future, while you’re concerned about the present. Perhaps you are the idea person and your partner is the one who sees the holes in the plan. This one is particularly irritating because the idea person feels constantly stopped and unable to move forward. While the person who sees the holes in the plan has no legitimate way to voice their concerns.

There are many other communication styles at play as well. But the interesting thing about all the styles is that you and your partner might change positions at any time, depending on the subject.

So think about your last several conversations. Try to imagine those conversations as though you are just overhearing two people talk. Can you see if any of those patterns seem to apply?

And then try to find some areas where you both can agree. Chances are you both want the same thing, but you going about getting it in different ways.

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