In this article we’ll touch up on what to look for when you and your significant other can’t seem to be eye-to-eye on something. We’ll be touching upon subjects like communication and compromise.
So you have an idea. You’re excited to tell your partner about it. You can’t wait to tell them about this idea and how it can flourish. But as you tell them about it, the idea fizzles out as quickly as you told them about it. They just can’t see the vision you see. They just don’t agree with how the idea can be successful. It’s kind of heart breaking, isn’t it?
This can be very frustrating, and for the other person who just can’t seem to get on board with the idea.
Jumping To The Goal
You may be a big picture person, and your partner/lover may be very detail oriented and practical. While this combination can be valuable it can also be extremely annoying.
You’re looking into the future. They can’t imagine the benefits down the road only what they see and know in the present.
They are looking at the present and seeing only the problems or lack of benefits in the present. Because their first concern is the present; yours is the outcome of this idea and what it may produce in the future.
Usually the person who is coming up with a new idea is energized by the idea itself. He or she may only be focusing on the potential benefits not potential problems.
Take a moment to decide which description fits you in your situation where the disagreement is occurring. Are you the big picture person or are you the one who is concerned with the details?
If you are the one with the idea, try to understand the pitfalls, the downside to it and elaborate that to your partner; so they can understand that you understand the risk of failure but your adventurous spirit is willing to accomplish this idea no matter what and that you want them on board for this journey.
If you are the one listening to the idea, keep an open mind. This is the person you have a connection with. The person you care for. Their ideas are as important as who they are. By discounting their ideas right off the bat you are discounting who they are. Be patient and let them know you are supportive about this idea but also let them know of what you are thinking, the fear you may be feeling about this idea, the unknown about it all.
When both of you understand how the consequences of trying something new are real, then both of you can be in a better position to agree.
Change Your Language
At this point, one thing you can do is change your language.
Pointing out the problems with the new idea will only generate more problems between the two of you. Instead of saying “this won’t work because…” Try saying “how do we handle it if such and such occurs” or “can we take a look at what could possibly get in the way”.
These suggestions will not completely solve your problem. But they will give you additional ways to keep the lines of communication open.
As long as we can take into account the differences in how we see the world, we are more able to discuss, understand and appreciate the value of what we each bring to the table.
